The Derailing of the Traincar of the Mind
by TheRedQueen009
Summary: Uh, one giant self-insert by my friends and i, and YES, it IS supposed to be stupid. Just read it if you want a good laugh...
1. Default Chapter Title

The Derailing Of The Train Car Of The Mind

Legal stuff:

Evangelion is not ours! (shock!) It belongs to some rich people who aren't us. We have no money because we spent it all on anime and comic books. So suing is pointless. All you will get is a stuffed orange cat named Fu Fu. Thank you and have a nice day! J

Character Guide!

Amy: Kat-chan(eighthevachild)

Roxanne: Slipstream

Sandra: Rachel-chan

Melinda(Mel): Juppy-chan

Lizzie: Hiko-chan --ME!

AN: Just to let you know now, this is pretty much an extremely long Pass the buck. So, don't tell me it's stupid, b/c I KNOW THAT ALREADY! It's supposed to be that way. It's funny. Okay, I'm done now. Well, comments, flames, questions? 

Email me @ [pyro_techie@nervhq.org][1]

And now! On with the show!

Amy

Amy looked at the lights flashing through the window as the train to Tokyo 3 whirred down the track. She was on her way to a new life in Japan; away form all the dark things that haunted her past.

When she stepped off the train, she looked around at her new hometown. 

"Japan's not so bad." She said to herself. Now if she could only find her ride. Where were they? Amy finally decided to sit down and finish reading the book she had stared on the train ride over. * Chapter 9 * she noted to herself. Just when she got to a really good part, a girl walked up to her and said "Hi, um, I'm Roxanne and, uh, since you're the only one around here that looks like they know English, can I sit with you?" clearly an Australian. (AN: I know most ppl in Japan can speak English but we're ignoring that right now so just deal! J)

"Sure" I said. I have nothing better to do. Roxanne was clearly relieved.

"Thank you, mate." She said, "So, what brings you to Japan?"

"I should ask the same question of you. Why are you in 

Japan if you don't know Japanese?"

"Well, I was sort of rushed and didn't have much time to learn." She said. "I asked you first. Why are you in Tokyo 3?"

"I've been chosen to pilot an Evangelion, a fighting robot, and you?"

"Weird! I'm here for the very same thing! Maybe that's why we're both still here, we're probably going home with the same person!"

"That'd be cool... Speaking of our ride, I wonder where it is? I'm kinda hungry and tired from the ride up."

"Me too, mate. I hope they get here soon." After that comment, a familiar phrase comes of mind, 'speak of the devil and he shall come.' Because at that moment, their ride, consisting of a young woman with black/purple hair and a really skimpy outfit on, a boy who looked lost, and two girls, one looking PO'ed at the other who was staring off into space and looked like she could scare less about what's going on around her, decided to show up.

"Hello, I'm Misato," the woman said, "Sorry we're so late, I haven't quite found my way around the train station yet."

"Hi," I said. "Uh...pleased to meet you." No matter how much you practice and learn, having a conversation in another language is harder than it looks. "My name is Amy."

At that moment, all eyes turned to Roxanne, who was utterly and completely lost. "Sorry, you guys, I didn't understand a word you just said. Try it again in English perhaps?" Roxanne said.

"Oh, you must be Roxanne(AN: well duh.)." Misato replied, in English, "Risuko told me you didn't know Japanese. I'm Misato," she repeated. "and this is Shinji, Rei, and Asuka." She introduced the 3 children she was with.

After everyone knew each others' names, we were off to the baggage check out.

"You don't have any luggage checked?!" Asuka asked Roxanne. The shock that Roxanne brought everything she had and it all fit in the overhead luggage compartment was startling.

"I just never had much stuff. I packed a lot of clothes in my little suitcase and all my other junk is in my backpack." I felt like I had a ton of stuff. I had three big boxes and a huge suitcase checked and a backpack and wheel suitcase that I brought with me on the train.

We had just gotten all my stuff into Misato's car when Shinji spoke up, "Um, Misato, wasn't there supposed to be three of them?"

"Oh no!" Misato yelled as she ran back to the terminal. I wanted to run after her, but by the time I got inside, she was gone.

"Oh, well." I said, "She'll find her way back to us."

"That was fast... I've never seen anyone run that quickly."

"Me neither," Asuka chimed in, "Especially not Misato."

It was about that time we decided to just sit and wait at the car for Misato to come back. Of course that was a long time considering her fist statement 'I still don't quite know my way around this place yet' it makes sense. But we waited and when she finally came back, she had a girl, about our age, with her.

"Okay," Misato said. "Have I forgotten anything else?" looking at Shinji.

"I don't think so, ma'am."

"Good, then we're off." Actually, is was a while before 'we were off' since Misato's stylish sports car was only made to fit five people, tops. We managed with Shinji sitting with Misato in the front, me in the middle of the back seat with a seat belt on, Asuka and Roxanne to either side of me and Rei and Sandra (the other one hehehe) were sitting on the arm rests by the windows on either side of them.

As it comes to follow, this was a very bad seating arrangement because as soon as Misato got on the road, everyone fell out of their seats and crashed into a big pile on top of my lap. 

"Ow!"

"Hey watch it!"

"Get off of me! OW!"

When we finally got home, I wished they had gotten shotgun because no one sitting in the back came out of the car without bruises.

Mel

I snickered at the site of them. All of the strangers looked up at me questioningly, all rubbing their bruises, sitting on the stone floor.

"Who are you?" one of them asked. I looked at Misato.

"Didn't she tell you? My name is Melinda, but you can call me Mel." Misato walked up to me.

"Sorry, Mel. She is one of the children too. She came a few days ago."

"I'M on time." I replied. "Unlike some people."

They all stood up and introduced themselves.

"Where are you from?" Amy asked.

"I'm from Germany. I replied. "Guten tag."

Shinji sighed. "Has anyone noticed I'm the only guy here?" he asked worriedly.

Roxanne

"C'mon, I'da thought you'd be enjoying this" I laughed. Shinji blushed and shook his head nervously. "Good, you're not a jerk. I'd hate to have to live with a jerk."

"Waitta minute!" Amy yelled. "Y'mean we're all gonna live in the same apartment?!" * sweatdrop *

"Uh, yeah. I THINK we'll al fit..." Misato said and counted the group. "Umm... all (seven...eight...) NINE of us?! And if it doesn't work, we'll just knock down a wall and expand into the next apartment!" (everyone face faults)

We carried our stuff up to the apartment and sure 'nuff, we DID have to knock down a wall (but it all pulled through with a little help from our interdimensional hammers!) We all got our own rooms and to say the least the extra bathroom would help with the shower situation.

"Hmm..." Misato said, eyeing the hole. "Hope the landlord doesn't mind."

I went to my room and started to unpack. We'd each been given a futon (AN: lol! Okay, u don't get that, never mind), desk, bookshelf, and dresser, so I didn't have to move much around. Misato came and gave each of us a 'Guide to NERV' handbook and me a Japanese language program. I'd just settle onto my futon to listen my Discman and read my handbook when a feathered head poked through the door.

"Squawk?" asked the penguin.

"Hey!" I said, "Do you live here?" The penguin waddled over and looked at me really hared. "What's your name?" I asked and looked at his nameplate. "Pen Pen? You're so kawaii!" I scratched his head and he made gargling noises at the Japanese word for cute. "Here, have a cheetoh!"

Lizzie

*I hope they don't mind me arriving a day late.* I thought as I left the train, of course I wasn't watching where I was going and I tripped. * Wow! Japanese concrete tastes the same as it does back home! (that's commonly known as sarcasm for those of you who didn't catch that) * I dusted myself off and went to get my bags. My backpack I had with me but I seemed to be having the hardest time finding my suitcase.

"Ah ha! There it is!" I yelled as I made a mad dash for the runaway luggage. After that wonderful experience I hailed a cab and headed to the apartment complex I was told I would be staying at. I reached the floor with my room on it and headed for the door completely ignoring the rug I was about to trip over. Once again, I tripped flying headlong towards the door to my new home. Bracing myself for impact I counted down. 5...4...3...2...1...BOOM! I smacked head first into the door. After a moment of gazing at the small galaxy before my eyes, the door opened.

"Um, are you Misato?" I asked from my position on the floor. At her nod I got up and dusted myself off. "I'm Lizzie! Sorry I'm a day late but I missed the flight." I stated while picking up my bag. It was then I noticed the seven pairs of eyes staring at me from behind her. I heard a mumbled 'She's not sleeping with me.' From the strange group just as Misato led me in.

Amy

"Another person? Gosh, is this a test to see how many people can live together and not go completely crazy or something?!" Asuka said. "And another thing why...." etc. etc. etc. (everyone else sweatdrops with exasperation at Asuka)

"Hi, I'm Amy," I said. "So... let me guess, you're going to be an EVA pilot, am I correct?"

"Yeah..."Lizzie said.

"OK, I have to ask you something Misato!" I said running to her room. "Exactly how many people are coming?"

"I dunno... I had forgotten about Lizzie, but I think she's the last one...but I did say that about Roxanne, then we found Sandra and I said that about her, so I just don't know. You'll have to ask Ritsuko when we get to the Geofront." * Okay, not only did that not answer my question, but now I'm even more confused. Who's Ritsuko? What's a Geofront, and where is it? *

It just so happens that I was walking to my room while contemplating these things, so when I got to the 'door' to the other apartment I was right on time to trip over Pen Pen.

"Ow!! Oh jeez! Ouch!" * That smartz! *

I could hear someone on the other side, "Thank goodness I'm not the only klutzy oooonnnee! OW!"Lizzie-chan fell flat on her face as Pen Pen made his way back to his fridge.

lizzie

I rubbed my head as I found myself face to face with my good buddy the floor again. I hear Amy laughing behind me. I sat up and chunked my shoe at her. She dodged it and helped my up. "Thanks Amy-Chan. It IS okay if I call you Amy-chan right?"

"Sure! Lizzie-chan!" She smiled. Just then Misato walked in. "Um... two of you will have to share a room. Sorry, but the landlord wasn't exactly thrilled that we knocked out the wall..." She then picked up Pen Pen and left.

Sandra

Sandra looked up at the cealing, lying on her futon. (AN: she said futon, heh heh.)

She shivered and pulled her sleeping bag up to her neck. All the chaos had given her a headache and she was bored. Rei seemed like the only interesting person here. Sandra threw the NERV book across the room and picked up her backpack. She sneaked out of the apartment and ran down the street.

Sandra knelt down in the dark and unzipped her backpack. She looked and made sure the coast was clear and pulled out her digital tumbler decoder. After a few seconds the door popped open, and Sandra slipped in. (AN: in case u haven't figured it out yet, she's 'sposed to be a thief) With a crash she busted open a glass case and shoved the computer hard drive into her backpack. She spun around to get out, but it was too late. There they were, the NERV security, and their leader, Gendou Ikari. She muttered a curse word, dropped her backpack and raised her hands above her head.

Mel

I sighed. I hadn't made any friends yet and there were at least ten people here. *I don't think Misato likes me very much.* I bit my lip, *Probably because I'm afraid. Afraid to get acquainted or make new friends. So many bad things have happened in the past, making me think everyone is dishonest.* I knew everyone thought I was some evil girl who frowns and jumps a mile if you tap her on the shoulder and may turn around and punch you (only shinji). *Why am I so mean?* I asked myself clutching my NERV handbook. I had already unpacked and there was nothing for me to do but read my dumb NERV book. Frustrated, I looked at it and groaned. Then I heard a knock on the door. I jumped up frowning. 

"Come in." I said mock happily.

Misato walked in. "Uh…Mel," She said. "Time to eat!" she smiled.

"I'll be there in a little bit." I replied.

"Okay." She walked out.

I stared out the window. *This is NOT going to be easy.*

(AN: don't worry! It all pretty much goes downhill from here! J)

Amy

"You call this food?!" I said after one disgusting bite. "This is disgusting!"*Thinks about her comment* "Is it SUPPOSED to taste like this?!"

"No" sighed Shinji, "Misato cooked." *this got a lot of sweatdrops from the group at the table.*

Roxanne

"Ummm…She doesn't ALWAYS cook, does she?" I asked in broken Japanese.

"No, we trade off." Asuka said.

"Good."

Suddenly, the door opens and Sandra walks through. Everyone looks at her.

"Wasn't me," she said smiling evilly.

"I'm afraid…" Shinji said.

"Me too…" I chimed.

Misato stood up. "Okay, since NOBODY'S eating my cooking… why don't we go to NERV and check out your EVA's?"

"There was a mad dash for the door and suddenly the apartment was empty except for a VERY trampled Pen Pen. 

Amy

When everyone was in the car, quite uncomfortably, we were off to see our EVA's (AN: *sing* we're off to see the eva's! the wonderful eva's of NERV! Okay, I'm done…) 

"Nice and comfy up here in the front." I said, "Lots of room, too."

"Oh, shut—up!!!" Roxanne said, she had gotten the 'window seat'.

"Touch me and die!" Asuka yelled at Shinji.

"But weren't YOU the one who made him sit by you?" Sandra said mockingly.

"You're awfully talkative today," Asuka said, "I liked you better when you were quiet."

Lizzie

"I don't know about you guys, but I'M comfortable!" I said from my position across six odd laps in the back seat. I should have kept my mouth shut because for that comment I was promptly dumped onto the floor.

"Okay, that's it…" Roxanne started to climb out the window and was halfway out before I finally realized what she was doing.

"Hey! Wait for me!" I yelled and followed. Soon the two of us were sitting on the top of Misato's car.

"Are you two NUTS comfortable up there?" Asuka yelled.

"YES!" we chorused. 

After about 5 or so more minutes of driving we arrived at NERV. We followed Misato down into the Geofront where we came face to face with what looked like giant robots. Being me, the first thought that popped into my head was vocalized. 

"GUNDAMS!!! COOL!!!!!!"I started running for them, but my shoelaces were conspiring against me and I fell flat on my face.

Amy 

"No, Lizzie. It's VOLTRON!" Amy said, "Don't you see, there're 5 of us and we each have a robot! I think it's quite obvious!" *all techs along with Ritsuko sweatdrop*

Lizzie

"Ohhhhh…. Okay! That explains it! But weren't we supposed to pilot EVA's?" Asuka whapped both me and Amy on the head.

"The are NOT Voltron OR Gundams. Those are the Evangelion Units." Ritsuko said looking rather exasperated. "Amy, yours is the purple one, Roxanne; gray. Lizzie; *cough* orange. Melinda; green, and Sandra; black." We all stood next to our respective EVAs. Ritsuko was giving me and Amy weird looks, but I wasn't sure if it was for our earlier outburst or the fact that we were TRYING to hug our EVAs.

Roxanne

"Bloody Americans…" Roxanne muttered.

Amy

"I LOVE purple! How'd they know!?"

"Dunkopf…" I heard Asuka mutter. (AN: sp?)

"Hey Amy!" Lizzie said, "Come look at my EVA!"

"Kay!" We talked about how cool our EVAs looked and all the things on them were different.

"Okay," Ritsuko announced, "We need to do a synchronization test so you'll have to part with your EVAs for a while" Obviously directed toward me and Lizzie.(lizzie and I, whatever…)

   [1]: mailto:pyro_techie@nervhq.org



	2. The Derailing of the Traincar of the Min...

The Derailing of the Train Car of the Mind Continued!!!

Disclaimer: Wed don't own EVA, or anything else we mention in this fic except ourselves. Don't listen to Kat-chan, she may try to convince you that we in fact DO own EVA, but we don't; lots of important people in nice suits who aren't us do. Don't bother suing, it won't do you any good, we are all poor high school students with only enough money for comic books and Jolt. Thanx.

AN: Okay, the whole story pretty much goes down hill from here. Which means, that it gets even stupider and more funny! YAY! Okay, on with the show!

~Hiko-chan~

Lizzie

"Ahhh! I'm drowning! Help! HELP!" I yelled as I tried to swim my way out of the LCL. Ritsuko was smacking her heda on the control panel and I could hear Asuka laughing and Shinji trying not to.

"Just breathe it in, you'll get used to it." Sighed Ritsuko. I reluctantly took a breath, it wasn't that bad.

"It smells like blood." I said disgusted. I then heard Shinji yelling 'I told you so!'

After the test we showered and went home. I was the first to speak. 

"So, where do I sleep?" I was promptly clocked with 9 pillows and a beer can.

Amy

After everyone was settled in bed, Sandra snuck our of her room and into Amy/Lizzie's room. She looked around, 

"Lots of stuff in here. I'll just take a few small things and they won't notice."

But little did she know, Amy and Lizzie (in their high and drunken mood) decided to bug everything in their room so the squirrells who live in the floor won't steal their cheetohs...

Roxanne

The next morning started out beautifully. The sun was rising, the air smelled like warm root-beer, and a certain scientist at NERV had created a device that kept the towels o-so-fluffy! (AN: if you know what that was an obscure reference to, e-mail me and the first person who gets it wins a prize! J) The birds twittering was the only sound that broke the serene quite.

"WAKEY WAKEY!"

Well… almost…

"Geez, Lizzie, do you know what time it is?" Misato grumbled form her room.

"Umm…" Lizzie said, checking her watch… "6:30? Time to get up 'an ready for school?"

"Lizzie," Misato sighed… "This is Japan. It's Saturday. School doesn't start until 11:00." 

"Oh."

"Go back to bed before I hit you with my futon." (AN: lol, she said futon. heh heh.)

"Okay." Lizzie said and slinked to her room.

"Bloody Germans," I said and pulled my pillow over my face.

Lizzie

*Geez! How was I supposed to know that school didn't start 'till 11? It was an honest mista…..* CRASH! I walked right into the door. "When did we get a door here?" I muttered dazedly.

"SHUT UP!" Asuka screamed at me.

"Sooorrryyyyyy…" I walked into my/Amy's room and found her eating cheetos and watching a little TV thingy. I joined her and after about two terrific hours of the tiny television (AN: say THAT ten time fast!), Shinji knocked on the door.

"Time to get up."

" 'Kay!" We answered through the door. *First day of school, I hope there are cute guys!*

Amy

"How could you be late for school?!? You've been up since 6:30!?!" Asuka was yelling at us.

"Well... We just wanted to watch the end of Sailormoon!" I(amy) said. (AN: Obscure Sailormoon reference #1, just wait, we threw plenty of 'em in here.) 

"We're leaving, you can get to school using the map I left you on the table." Shinji said.

Much, MUCH later…

"It's not my fault I can't read the map! You're the one who said 'Hey, I think it's this way!'." I said. Me and Lizzie (lizzie and I, I know!) had been looking for the school and it was getting dark.

"Hey, look over there!" Lizzie said, drooling and eyes wide.

"Oh, wow!" We sat there staring at the shop for a time that I lost track of. "Aaaannniiimmmeeee…." *drool drool*

"It was about that time we began zombie-walking towards the anime store. Unluckily for us, Misato was driving by in her car and saw us walking towards the shop.

"Nooo! Let me go! I need to go into the light! Let me go!" we yelled as Misato was trying to pull us into the car. People were starting to give Misato bad looks, like she was trying to kidnap us.

"Hey, stop that!"

"Leave those girls alone!"

"Police! Police!" People were shouting. Misato decided to not make the scene any bigger and left. Lizzie and I looked at the door. I thought I was going to cry.

"It's SOO beautiful…" I said.

"I know…" A store worker was staring at us plastered against his store window. He decided to come ask us,

"Are you two going to come in? We're closing in ten minutes."

We looked at each other… *duh, the door!*

"Hurry, Lizzie, we only have ten minutes.

"I know, I know, I've found a shopping cart, here." She pushed the cart over and I dumped my videos and manga-books in.

"Okay, I think that's all I can afford, how 'bout you, Lizzie?"

"I broke…but happy!" She was 'reading' her manga. "Ya'know," she said, "we really should learn how to read Kanji."

"Yeah, I know."

Mel

I punched the wall. "Misato cooked again…" I groaned. I pushed Shinji off his chair.

"Hey!" He said as he fell to the floor.

"Ah, shut up." I said, taking my seat, well, my 'now' seat. Misato raised an eyebrow at me.

"Mel," she said, "we need to uh…teach you to respect others."

"Go plug an EVA." I replied dryly.

Misato jumped up from her chair, "If you don't start being nicer I'll…"

"You'll what?" I interrupted. "Put me in the freezer with Pen Pen? Well, it's better than looking at ya'll's faces." Everyone looked at me.

"Get her." Misato replied. I felt hands grab me and I screamed as they tied me to a chair in the living room and gagged me. I squirmed around and made odd noises but nothing worked. *Where is the great Houdini when you need him?* sigh

Amy

"As punishment for being not-nice, you will have to spend the night in Pen Pen's fridge… With Amy and Lizzie!" Misato said, almost yelling.

"NO!!!" Mel said. "Not that, please, ANYTHING but that!"

"Misato," Shinji said, "Isn't that cruel and unusual punishment?"

"Maybe… but she deserves it."

~Later, in Pen Pen's fridge~

"Hey, Lizzie, knock knock."

*Oh no, not again!* Mel thought.

"Who's there?"

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Aaaaaaahhhh!" Mel screamed. " I can't take it anymore!! That's not how you tell a knock-knock joke! Misato! Please! Let me out! I'm SOORRYY!"

"What's wrong with her?" I said.

"Dunno…" Lizzie answered. "Maybe she doesn't like knock-knock jokes."

Roxanne

I was hungry, so I got up from desprately trying to learn Japanese and went to the kitchen. I opened up one fridge, * wrong one, this one's full of beer* I went to the other fridge and stopped to hear muffled noises from the other side.

sing "21 million bottle of beer on the wall! 21 million bottle of BEEER! Ya' take one down! Pass it around,"

"Noooooooo! Make it stoooop!"

I shuddered in horror and turned to see Shinji. "How long have the been in there?" I asked.

Shinji checked his watch. "Fifteen minutes."

I sighed and shook my head. "No one should have to go through that."

He nodded and turned as more blood curdling screams (and sqwaks from Pen Pen) came from the fridge.

"Hmmmmm… maybe we could use this against the angels." He walked off with his head-phones and I got a pop and left.

sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts… C'mon Mel, SING ALONG!"

"AHH! Somebody please HELP ME!"

Lizzie

*from inside the fridge* "I'm hungry! *spots Pen Pen's food* "Gimme!" After knocking Pen Pen out and eating all his food I looked at my watch. "How long have we been in here?"

"I don't know, but I'm betting bored and I nee…" THUD! The door opened and Amy (who was leaning on it) fell out. I poked my head out to see Shinji.

"Misato told me to let you guys out…" He gave us a weird look and Amy and I started giggling. Then Mel crawled out, pale, stiff, and mumbling nonsense about coconuts. At around ten, we finally got Mel to sleep. Everyone decided to go to bed after listening in on the lecture Misato was TRYING to give Amy and me. She was having a hard time because we kept erupting in evil laughter every few words.

The next morning Misato personally walked us into the school. The teacher made the mistake of seating Amy and I next to each other in the back row…


	3. The Derailing of the Train Car of the Mi...

Ah, hello and welcome to yet another installment of The Derailing of the Train Car of the Mind. I'll try to make this part longer but I am supposed to be doing a week's worth of make up homework right now so I can't spend all night typing… besides, I have to watch TV too… anyway, onto the legal stuff---

Disclaimer: No, we don't, have never, and will never, own EVA. If we did, we can assure we wouldn't be doing such trivial things as writing stupid self-inserts and going to school… Don't sue us; it won't do you any good. We are poor, I mean POOR, high school students who can barely afford to keep ourselves in comic books and carbonated beverages. Arigato.

Now, on with the show!

************************************************

-Roxanne-

At lunch-

"I think sensei's a robot." I (Roxanne) said around my Coke.

"What gave you that idea?" Amy asked.

"Well, the fact that he made the mistake of sitting you two ta'gether… I've been here for a few days and heard the same lecture 15 times… His mouth is stuck permanently open, his eyes flash… and that he got stuck on the work "explosion" and said "-splosion! 

-splosion! –splosion!" for three hours until somebody kicked him!" 

"But we got free time!"

"Yeah, therefore, he's a cool teacher!"  
*Everyone at the table besides Amy and Lizzie facefaults*

Asuka is heard muttering "The things I put up with to be an EVA pilot!"

"Penguins, ditzes, psychopaths, depressed individuals, clones, why did I EVER leave Russia?" Sandra asked the table.

"I could have lived a nice, peaceful life with the werewolves in Germany… but NOOO…" moaned Mel.

"Could've spent all my life in the test tube, nice quiet, muttering psychobabble…" Rei regretted.

"The kangaroos! Did I have to leave the kangaroos? Stayed in the outback and talked to the lizards!" I said to my lunch.

"I mustn't run away… I mustn't run away…" muttered you-know-who (Shinji).

"Hey, did you see what… blah blah blah…" chattered Amy and Lizzie, oblivious to the psychobabble around them.

-Amy-

"What did you guys give up to become EVA pilots?" asked Sandra.

"Huh? Give up?" I (Amy) asked, puzzled.

"I didn't give up anything! I love it here, a WAY bigger allowance, as many trips to the anime store as I can stand, and I get to pilot Voltron!" (AN: Obscure Voltron ref 2)

*Sweatdrops all around except for Lizzie…*

"I still say that they're Gundams…" Lizzie argued. (AN: Obscure Gundams ref #2. I love my Gundams Wing, oh yeah, and we don't own that either…)

"How many times do I have to tell you," I explained, "we are the pilots of Voltron because there's five of us, and the big robot things. Later Ritsuko will probably teach us how to combine, but when they're separated, we're supposed to call them Evangelions."

"Ooohh… Wait, that EVA thing –isn't that what Ritsuko got us in trouble for?"

"Yeah, but she doesn't want us to know about the secret of Voltron until we fully understand how to pilot."

"Wow, that explains everything." Lizzie said.

"No, it doesn't." Asuka cut into our conversation. "You got in trouble because YOU DON'T PILOT VOLTRON!" Apparently our robot-teacher isn't very sensitive to sound, but can still hear screaming, because me, Asuka, and Lizzie all got to stand in the hall the rest of the day.

"Hey, Lizzie, I thought of this really funny joke. Do you wanna' hear it?" I asked.

"No, not another one!" Asuka said, plugging her ears.

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Banana who?"

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Banana who?"

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Banana who?"

Well, you get the point…

-Lizzie-

When the bell sounded at the end of the day, Asuka stormed off to find Hikari and Amy and I went to find Roxanne and decided to see how fast we could run while doing so. 

"Hey Amy! Look at me! I can run BACKWARDS!" Of course running backwards means you can't see the tall guy behind you that you're about to mow down…

"LIZZIE! Watch out for… never mind." Amy yelled as I smashed into an unsuspecting Toji.

"Ummm… do you mind getting off of me?" he asked, pointedly ignoring the fact that Shinji was laughing hysterically at the sight of the tangled mess we had become.

"No problem! Sorry bout that! You should really be more careful." I said as I got up and left with Amy.

"Bye Toji!" Shinji called as he walked after us, still laughing.

As we walked home a loud siren sounded and the buildings started to sink into the ground. Naturally, this frightened me and I promptly screamed. Shinji clapped a hand over my mouth and told me that we needed to get to the Geofront. When we got there Ritsuko told us to get into our plug-suits and prepare to fight. I was still a bit uneasy about the whole LCL thing, but I got used to it. Misato's voice suddenly sounded and I saw a picture of her in front of me. 

"Lizzie, you and Asuka go in first. Shinji and Rei will back you up. The rest of you guard them. Oh, and Amy and Roxanne, you two take the position BEHIND the angel and prepare to attack it from there. Ok? Ok! LAUNCH EVAS!"

-Amy-

"Hey Roxanne…" I (amy) asked as my EVA was about to be launched.

"What?"

"When exactly in the battle plan did Misato tell us to form Voltron?"(AN: #3)

"Get off the bloody Voltron thing!"

"Okay, okay." I said just as my EVA was launched. "Aaaaaahhh!"

When I got to the surface and I had power, I immediately forgot everything and ran scared half-to-death from the Angel. Apparently, Lizzie had been doing the same thing I was and tripped over my cord, making us both fall flat on our faces.

"Both of you get up!" I could hear Misato on the 'radio'. "Your EVA will protect you, just get in there and fight!"

"No way!" I said.

"You haven't even seen the angel yet, Amy!" 

"So. I'm sure it's scary if Lizzie was running!"

*sweatdrops all around…*

Just then, I saw what I had been running from. It looked sort of like….

"Sailor Moon?!" I said. (AN: Obscure Sailor Moon reference #2; actually this whole battle is an obscure reference…)

"Weird." Said Lizzie.

"THAT'S what we were running from?!" Lizzie probably didn't hear my last comment, because she was running up to the angel asking for its autograph.

"Hey, wait for me!" I said.

As we pounced on the angel, going hysterical about questions that were left unanswered in the series, all of the other EVAs backed away.

"What are they doing?" Ritsuko asked. "That looks nothing like Sailor Moon."

"Hey, I'm not complaining. They're defeating the angel!" Misato said.

"Sailor Moon! In that one episode where you went to the arcade and that monster…"

"Hey, Amy, it's my turn to ask a question!" Lizzie said.

"Hey, Serena, can I call you that? Oh well, so anyways, as I was TRYING to say…"

The angel started to look around and groan.

"Oh, no! I think it's going to self-destruct!" Yelled Shinji.

"Everyone hit the deck!" I could hear Roxanne say.

***_KAAABOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!*_**

"Saaaiiilooor Moooooonn!! Noo!!" Lizzie and I said as we were being blown away by the massive explosion.

-Roxanne-

"Why did I ever sign up for this job?" Ritsuko asked herself, chugging her ninth bottle of aspirin for the day.

"Sailor Moon! NO! Why did it have to end this way?!" Amy and Lizzie asked themselves, crying in the corner.

***************

"Well, as far as we can tell, the angel was using its AT Field to create an illusion of what whoever was attacking it would least want to attack." Maya read off from her report.

"Hmm… Setting it to where no one would want to attack it, interesting…." Mused Fuyutsuki.

"Yes, but it is of no mater, all is according to schedule." Gendou said, pushing his glasses up. He hesitated, looking at Fuyutsuki. "So… It wasn't REALLY Sailor Moon that Lizzie and Amy killed, right?"

"Correct."

"Good, if it was, I'd have to hurt them." Gendou said, pushing up his tiara and flipping to the Sailor Moon marathon on Cartoon Network (AN: also not ours…) with his Moon Wand Remote Control. (Made by Bandai®!) 

"All is going to schedule."

---"I am Sailormoon! In the name of the moon, I will punish you! Aya!"

************************

-Lizzie-

That night, after Misato FINALLY convinced me and Amy that we didn't really kill Sailor Moon, Asuka, Shinji, and Sandra wouldn't speak to us. Rei never said anything anyway, and neither does Mel. Roxanne found this whole ordeal ridiculously funny and laughed until she was purple. Amy and I got over it after watching a few episodes to make sure that Sailor Moon was still in them. At around 6:00 Misato informed me that it was my night to cook.

"WHAT?! ME?! COOK? No way!!!" I yelled as she dragged me to the kitchen. Misato ran out and closed the door, propping a chair up against it so I couldn't get out.

"Well, let me see… What can I cook?" I wandered around and glanced over at the phone. 

*IDEA!*

I picked up the phone and dialed… 

*ring…ring!* "Hello? Pizza Hut™, how may I help you?"

Needless to say, everyone liked my 'cooking'.

"Can she cook every night?" Asuka asked around her pizza. For that comment, Misato chunked a beer can at her head. She dodged, picked up the nearest pillow, and threw it at Misato, who ducked, and the pillow hit Rei. Everyone froze. Then Rei, quiet little Rei, picked up the pillow and threw it at Asuka, knocking her over. The pillow war lasted for a few hours, ending when Amy accidentally threw Pen Pen out the window.

-Amy-

The next morning, when we woke to go to school, we found a very bandaged Pen Pen who shook with fear when anyone tried to pick him up.

"Hey, Lizzie, have you seen that new arcade across the street?" I said.

"Yeah, I heard they have the new Sailor-V game!" (I couldn't resist!)

"No, you cannot go to the arcade instead of school, you cannot be 'just a little late' for school because you were at the arcade, and you cannot check yourselves out of school saying there's an emergency at NERV to go to the arcade." Misato said.

"Darn… but can we…"

"No!"

"Drat." I said. "Maybe we can just…"

"No!! No! NO! And furthermore NOO! N-O! No!"

"Come-on Misato! Pleeease!" (AN: can't you just hear us whining? ^__^*)

"No!"

-Lizzie-

I walked to the back of the class pouting. I turned and tried to plop miserably into my chair... but I missed it completely. After the laughter had subsided the teacher began his lesson.

"Today we will be studying about the 2nd Impact….."

*Oh joy of joys. We get to hear the 2nd Impact lecture…AGAIN.* I sighed and turned on my laptop. The virus scan came up… *This day may not be so bad after all…*

"heeheehee…" 

I began typing furiously on my keyboard. After about an hour, I looked at the clock to see that it was almost lunch- time, so I found a stopping place just as Sensei dismissed us.

"Lizzie? What were you doing back there?" asked Roxanne as she took a seat next to me.

"Entertaining myself." I started mater-of-factly.

"Oh, okay…"

Lunch went on normally (I tripped over my evil shoes, Amy dumped chocolate pudding on Sandra's head, Shinji apologized for it, Asuka yelled at him and I thought she was choking so I performed the Heimlich on her and the bell rang.) and we all walked back into class and took our seats, minus Sandra who was still washing the pudding out of her hair. I resumed typing. Another hour or so went by and sensei was stuck on 

'-splosion' again (splosion, splosion…). 

"Finished!" I said, pounding the enter key.

Suddenly everyone's screens went blank and a chibi Sailor Saturn walked onto the screens. She raised her glaive.

"Death Reborn Revolution!" yelled the chibi-Saturn and all the laptops crashed.

"I am VICTORIOUS!" I yelled just as the bell rang.

-Roxanne-

Needless to say, after that, everyone had to back up their hard drives on floppies. But, back to the story….

*********

We were walking back home from school. (Well, Mel and Rei were walking. Shinji, Asuka, Sandra and I were dragging Amy and Lizzie away from the arcade.)

"Must…play…Sailor-V!" Lizzie drooled.

"No! We have tests to do… so you'll have to wait till the weekend!" Asuka said.

"No! I can't last that long!" Amy wailed.

The tests went smoothly… and I was sitting in my plug when suddenly a weird voice came through my thought-sensors.

'_Roxanne…..'_

__"Hm?"

_'Use the Force Roxanne!'_

__"What? Who are you?"

_'Use __THE FORCE!__'_

"This is the weirdest psychobabble I've ever heard!"

_'Roxanne…'_

__"What now?"

_'Roxanne…'_

__"What already?"

_'__I AM YOUR EVA!!'_

__"Just bloody great!"

_'BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'_

(AN: you really have to see the lil' drawing thingy to get the full effect…)

-Amy-

--Meanwhile in Amy's EVA—

spooky voice: '_Doobey doobey doobey doobey doo'_

Amy:__"What was that?" 

Spooky voice: _'doobey doobey doobey doobey doobey doo!'_

Amy: "Aaahh! It's going to get me! Let me out! Let me out!" 

What's going to get you, Amy?" Ritsuko asked, genuinely concerned.

"Nothing," I said calmly, "I was just seeing if you were paying attention."

*smacks forehead (Ritsuko)*

"Calling Lizzie, come in Lizzie." I said in my best cop impersonation.

"This is Lizzie, I read you Amy, over." Lizzie replied.

"We seem to have a 10-256,000 down here, could you come over and check it out? Over."

"10-400 old buddy, over."

"10-400, Amy over and out."

"That's 10-4, and you don't have to broadcast your conversation over the whole system, you can open a private window, ya' know." Mel said, slightly agitated.

"No, it's 10-400, and it's not as fun if we don't broadcast it, so butt out and don't listen in on PRIVATE conversations, thank-you-very-much!"

"How could we NOT hear your conversation?" Shinji asked.

"Another snoop, aye?" Lizzie said. "I guess you're all…"

"SPIES! They're Soviet Spies! Sent from Russia to steal our secret plans to take over the world!" I chimed in.

"Hey, I resent that comment, and the Soviet Union doesn't even EXSIST anymore!" Sandra said. (AN: She's from Russia, in case u didn' know…)

"That's what they WANT you to think." Lizzie said.

"Stupid bakas...." Asuka muttered.

"Start concentrating on the test or I'll take the com-system out of your EVAs!" Ritsuko said.

After that, a little icon appeared at the bottom of my screen. It was marked 'secret message, URGENT' from Lizzie. I opened it and it read "Meet me in my room tonight at bedtime, be prepared for war against the Soviets(1)." Since we share the same room, that's no problem. I wrote back, 

"Okay, don't send anymore messages. We're probably being monitored by the you-know-who."

-Lizzie-

After Ritsuko finished yelling at us again, she made us do the tests over. 

"Ahhrrggg! Why can't you two be NORMAL?!" Asuka screamed.

I tried to concentrate on the test but I kept hearing stuff.

***~singing~Bloobidy bloobidy bloobidy bloobidy…***

"Hey! I'm trying to concentrate here!"

***BLOOBIDY BLOOBIDY BLOOBIDY…***

It got louder and louder. I shrugged.

"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"

"Bloobidy bloobidy bloobidy bloobidy bloobidy bloobidy bloobidy bloobidy…"  
Ritsuko sighed. "Okay, that's enough for today." She walked out the door. "I need a drink…"

--In the showers—

Roxanne is humming the Star Wars® song, Amy is singing 'doobey doobey doo..' and I(Lizzie) am singing the 'bloobidy' song.

"What is wrong with you three?" Mel said slipping on her shoes. "Roxanne, you used to be normal. I think they're rubbing off on you…" Mel walked out followed shortly by the rest of our merry little group.

(1) This fic doesn't represent our views toward people from Russia or the Soviet Union in general. We don't know enough about it to have an opinion…

That's it for this installment of The Derailing of the Train Car of the Mind! Stay tuned for the next part which is guaranteed to be chock full of angel stompin', karate choppin', sweet potato action! And lots of weirdness, too!

_ _

_ _


	4. The Derailing of the Train Car of the Mi...

Hello and welcome once again to The Derailing of the Train Car of the Mind! I know it's been a while, but hey! I'm a busy girl! Anywayz, legal stuff…

Disclaimer: We do not, I repeat, do NOT own EVA, or anything else mentioned here but ourselves. Don't listen to what Rachel says, she's crazy. Don't sue us, we have no money and you would only get my pet can of Windex named Armani…

Author's Note: Remember the Soviet thing? Yeah well, that joke pretty much takes over the story from here….

SHOW TIME!

-Amy-

That night---

"Alright troops," Lizzie said pointing a liquorish stick at me (amy) and dozens of stuffed animals. "Tonight is a night that will go down in history as 'The mighty war that Lizzie and Amy fought against the Soviets who live in their house with them and think they're weird, but they just have issues they need to explore and who had more than a dozen stuffed animals that they were going to launch out of a potato cannon, but Kensuke wouldn't let us borrow his because he was afraid of the consequences that would result in letting us have it in a war against his friends who also happen to pilot 400 foot robots."

"Isn't that a bit long? Why don't we just call it 'the war that Lizzie and Amy fought?" I said.

"How about 'the MIGHTY war that Lizzie and Amy fought against the Soviets?"

"Fine."

"COMMENCE OPERATION!"

(on walkie-talkies)

"Lizzie, come in, over."

"This is Lizzie, over."

"I'm about to cut the power, over."

"Roger."

*all power in the apartment building goes out*

"I'm going in." Lizzie said.

"I'll meet you there, over and out."

In Sandra's room---

"Silent but deadly."

"Well not exactly silent, but Sandra won't be able to hear us through those earplugs." I said.

"Good thing she's a sound sleeper."

"Yeah."

We proceeded to 'eliminate the Soviet spy' by tying her up on a chair, making sure to put all her blankets with her to compensate for the temperature change outside.

"Wake up the prisoner soldier."

"Yes commander Anderson."

Sandra woke up when I kicked the chair she was in and it swung way far out over the street and hit the balcony's railing with a BANG.

"Wahammmuhegahugamm.." Sandra mumbled through her gagged mouth. Clearly shocked that she was hanging 200 feet from a concrete sidewalk, she was probably either pleading for her life, or calling for help.

"So prisoner, what do you say now? Will you tell us your Soviet plot and the location of your commanding officer, or will you remain loyal to your country and have to be tortured and plummet to your death in the honorable manner as a spot on the sidewalk of misery?" Lizzie said, as she raised a knife to the rope that was suspending Sandra from the roof.

"Mrumfh!"

"Amy! Lizzie! No!" Misato screamed.

"Abort mission, soldier, we've been found!"

"I'll never let you take me alive!" I yelled. With that, Lizzie and I jumped onto Sandra's chair and cut the rope.

"Noo!" Misato said as we were plummeting towards the road below. 

"Pull the rip chord!" Commander Anderson said.

"Yes, Sir!" To Misato's amazement, we floated safely to the ground with a parachute.

"Abandon the POW, she's not worth it." I said.

"No, we need the information she has." Lizzie demanded.

"She's not worth it."

"Go! You are young and can still make it to the base, bring back help."

"Not without you!" Lizzie abandoned Sandra, finally, and we went to 'home base'. (the arcade across the street.)

-Lizzie-

We (Amy and Lizzie) slumped down in the arcade next to the Sailor V game. (you knew it was coming…)

"That was close! But look what I got…" I held up Sandra's house shoes.

"Ooooohhh! Be careful! They could be bombs!" Amy said snatching the shoes and throwing them out the door.

Misato was walking down the street looking for us and as soon as she saw Sandra's shoes flying out of the arcade. Followed by Amy yelling, "Fire in the hole!"

//Wonderful. All we need now is for and angel to attack. In fact, I'd welcome one over these two.//

As if on cue, (AN: Of course its on cue!) the sirens sounded and the buildings began to sink. Misato was banging her head on the nearest lamppost. Suddenly she stopped and her face brightened.

"Amy, Lizzie! The Russians are attacking!"

We ran out of the arcade and followed Misato to NERV. Soon, the EVA's were launched and Amy and I lead the attack.

"Okay, Amy, move out!" I yelled.

"RIGHT!" She followed me as we raced up to the angel. We stopped about 100 feet from it.

"I am Sailor Lizzie!"

"And I am Sailor Amy!"

"We are the defenders of love and cheetahs!" We struck our poses. "We will right wrongs and triumph over evil! And that means you!" With that finished we attacked. Within minutes the angel was dusted. 

-Roxanne-

"When are WE gonna' get ta' fight an angel?" I asked Misato.

"You guys get the next one, I promise!"

"Where are the Russians? Where? Where?" Amy and Lizzie said, frantically searching through NERV. We all backed away as their eyes were bloodshot and they were foaming at the mouth.

"Hide me!" Sandra said, flinging herself behind me.

We tried to calm them down, but…

"This is NOT working!" Asuka grunted. She was chasing them around the room.

"Okay, bring in the tranquilizers!" Misato yelled. 14 techies poured into the room and proceeded to shoot all of the pilots. "No! No! No! Only Amy and Lizzie!" But it was too late. We all were immediately asleep, and we had to be carried home. (I wasn't exactly awake, but Pen Pen and Mr. Pink Elephant told me alllllll about it!)

"At least they calmed down…" Misato grumbled under our now snoring forms.

"Snoore….uhuma…the Rushhhiawns…" Lizzie said.

"Shawdap…" was my response.

-Amy-

The next morning at breakfast---

…*silence* 

Everyone (except Misato) was piled around the table eating their breakfast. Remarkably no one said a single word, they were too drugged out on tranquilizers.

Then Misato came busting in, "Good morning everyone! Man, I got a great night's sleep since Amy and Lizzie weren't up. Didn't you Shinji?" Everyone glared at her. "Man, you guys aren't morning people."

-Lizzie-

Misato was promptly hit with nine spoons.

"Hey! Look! Lizzie's going back to sleep…" Asuka whispered in Shinji's ear. As soon as she said that there was a loud SPLASH! Asuka fell out of her chair and was rolling on the floor laughing. I (lizzie) had just fallen asleep in my Frosted Mini Wheat's. A minute later my head shot up.

"I'm awake! I'm awake!" I sputtered. Everyone stared.

After a nice hot shower, well, it would've been a nice hot shower if Roxanne hadn't been turning the sink on every two seconds, but I digress… As I was saying, after my shower we all headed off on our own. It was Sunday, no school, and Amy and I decided to take Roxanne 'shopping'.

"NO! PLEASE! Not there! Help meee……"

-Roxanne-

And that's how we arrived at the world's largest anime/comic store.

"I love living in Tokyo 3." Amy said.

"We're gonna make an otaku out of you if it's the last thing we do!" With that, they pried me off of the parking meter and pulled me into the store.

Well, that's it for now! Stay tuned for yet another action packed, angel stompin', hostage takin', booty kickin', jelly filled installment of The Derailing of the Train Car of the Mind! Remember to tune in next week! Same Bat Time! Same Bat Channel!

-Hiko-chan


	5. PART 5! OMG!

After much digging and threats from many people… I finally found this part! YAY! Now… I just have to find the rest of the darn thing… grrr. I KNOW it's somewhere on this damn machine. It always eats my stuff… I hate technology sometimes… Anyway, read the story or die! :-P just kidding… but do read it. Pweeese? ^_^*

THE DERAILING OF THE TRAINCAR OF THE MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: Hiko-chan, Eighthevachild/Kat-chan, Slipstream-chan, Rach-chan, and Casey-chan (who all write their respective characters…) and we OWN this… so DON'T TAKE OUR STUFF!!!!!  b/c we know where you live…

Disclaimer: we don't own EVA… duh. In fact… we're poor high school students, so you can guess just how much we actually DO own… which is not much. So don't sue, b/c you'll only get crap… -_-*

-Sandra-

After being tortured by the two named Amy and Lizze (also having a major phobia of cheetos now) Sandra took sanctuary at the nearest dance club. *laughs evilly* 'They will never find me here. Muahahaha!' She turned around to get a drink when she ran right into a tall, dark, guy.

            "Are ya'll all (AN: we're from the south, give us a break…) ditzes?" He cried over the music. "Man! I swear I've run into all of you pilots!"

            "Hi Toji!" I/Sandra said in a flirtatious tone. "How'r you?" We walked out so we could hear each other.

            "I'm doing good. Wanna Cheetoh?" He asked, handing me a bag. I ran down the road screaming my head off.

            "Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!"

-Amy-

And it just so happens that she ran into Roxanne who was running from Lizzie and I (amy).

            "Come back Roxanne! We haven't even finished the Doom Tree Series!" I called.

            "Yeah! We still have R, S, Super-S, Sailor Stars, and the movies to go through!"

            Roxanne got up VERY quickly and started running again yelling, "Help me! I'm being chased by two demented MOONIES! Aaaah!"

            Lizzie and I stopped running. "She's not worth it." I said.

            "Yeah, we'll get her when she comes home." We were about to go home to set a trap for her, when we noticed Sandra laying, knocked-out on the sidewalk. Lizzie's face lit up. "We might be able to get the Soviet to turn…"

            "Yes… bring her to 'the lab'." 

            "Yes, master…" Lizzie said, dragging one foot and acting like a hunch-back.

            "Mwaaah haaa haa haa ha!" I said.

            "hee, hee, hee…" Egore… I mean, Lizzie said.

-Back @ the apartment-

            "Wake up, Sandra. We have a surprise for you…" 

She opens her eyes and screams, "Aaah! Noo! Misat! Shinji! Rei! Asuka! Roxanne! Mel! Pen-Pen! Help!"

"Mwaaah haaa ha! That is no use, they are either out shopping, or tied up next to you." I said, pointing to Shinji, Misato, Rei, and Pen-Pen. "And when Asuka and Roxanne and Mel come home, they  will fall into my evil clutches too! Mwaaah haa ha!"

"Ahem…" Lizzie said.

"Oh, yes, OUR evil clutches! Mwaaah haa ha!"

"Better."

"Now, what you've all been tied up for and why we put toothpicks on you eyelids… 200 episodes of Sailor Moon, plus all the movies and any other anime we have laying around the room!"

            "Mwaaah haa ha!" Lizzie said for me.

-Lizzie-

            "I'm home!" Asuka walked in the door followed by Roxanne and Mel.

            "Hey! Why is it so dark in here?" Mel said while feeling the wall for the light switch. Just the, the three were jumped.

            "Ah! Help us!" Roxanne screamed as we tied her to a chair and sat her in front of the TV.

            "Cokes?" I asked.

            "Check!" Amy made a check mark on her pretend clipboard.

            "Popcorn?"

            "Check!"

            "Hostages?"

            "Check!"

            "Chocolate?"

            "Check!"

            "Okay! Let the show begin!" I hit the play button.

            "Ahh… bliss…" Amy sat down next to me.

-Amy-

            When we didn't come to school, and Misato didn't go to work, people started to worry. A lot MORE people started to worry when Hikari, Toji, Kensuke, and 12 other random classmates, along with 5 NERV intelligence officers turned up missing.

-Lizzie-

            Finally, after 5 days, the marathon ended. We let the 'hostages' go and then…

            "What the (censored for our younger viewers! ^_^*) do you think you were doing?!" Misato was turning a sort of _mauve color. Then, silence. "WELL?!"_

            Amy and I looked at each other.

            "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

            Misato facefaulted. "Okay that's it! Get in the car! I'm taking you to see the commander!"

            *Gulp* "Ahh…Pepsi!" Misato grabbed my soda and pushed me into the car. (you thought I was scared didn't you?)

-@ the geofront~

            "Fyutsuki(how the crap do you spell that?!), take care of this. I'm busy." Commander Ikari left the office.

            "Sit." He gestured toward the chairs. We sat, or rather, Amy sat and pulled my chair away and I fell on my butt.

            "What could you two have done that would get Major Katsuragi this upset?"

            "Well, we kinda held everyone hostage and made them watch 200 episodes of Sailor Moon…" Amy answered, looking rather proud.

            "And the movies!"  I finished.

            "Oh. Well, in that case, you can go home. No problem here. It was all in fun..." He said, spinning around in 'the chair' to face the wall. We got up and left.

            *sniff* 'They didn't invite me…'

-Amy-

~at school~

            "Hey, where have you guys been?" said miscellanius person #1. (^_^* we locked up everyone else)

            "Don't EVEN get them started." Sandra said. We took our seats and Lizzie and I(amy) started jabbering.

            "Hey do you remember in that one scene when…"

            "Oh yeah! That was kewl!"

            Asuka whispered to Roxanne, "It's bad enough we had to WATCH the episodes, but do we have to listen to the TALK about it?"

-Roxanne-

            I (Roxanne) nodded in agreement, then looked over at Shinji. "Hey Shinji, you seem to be paying a LOT of attention to today's 'splosion' talk. Pray tell what it is you find so compelling?"

            "oienaofnaoi .asjdofi" He mumbled.

            "What?"

            "It's all their fault," he said jerking his head toward Amy and Lizzie, eyes still wide and staring.   

            "Hm?"

            "My eyelids are stuck open. I haven't been able to blink since the end of 'S'."

            Toji snorted and shot a drink from a smuggled can of coke out of his nose. It caused the teacher to short-circuit, which in turn activated a little known Y2K (yeah, this is old) glitch that all robot teachers have, known as "self destruct and reak havoc and they'll never take me alive! BWAHHAH!" mode. He crashed around, smashed his head against the blackboard, broke the desk with a single karate chop, then jumped out the window, laughing maniacly the whole time.

            Everyone blinked. "What happens now?"

            Kensuke grinned evilly "Stuff's gonna 'splode…"

            With a great 'boom!' the teacher self destructed, sending gears and bolts flying. A class full of pyros cheered at the giant fireball.

-Lizzie-

            Well, after the fireball went away, someone, who shall remain nameless, decided to climb down the fire escape under our window.

            "Lizzie! Get back up here!" Hikari yelled while restraining Kensuke, who was trying to capture the mushroom cloud on tape. As I was making my way down the fire escape I heard footsteps. I looked up and low and behold, the whole class was climbing out the window and down the escape. Soon we were all gathered around our smoldering teacher. I got an evil idea. I walked up and stood on top of the smoking heap that was our teacher. I raised my arms and tossed my head back…

            "FREEDOM!!!!"

            With that a vote was taken and we decided that class should be dismissed. 

~later at home~

            "Tadiama!" the door slammed and the refrigerator door opened.

            "Welcome home Misato!" we all said at the same time. She then walked in to find 8 children covered in smoke.

            "What happened?!"

            "Our teacher exploded." Roxanne stated matter-of-factly. And Misato promptly faited.

            THUD!


End file.
